I’m not sure if this happened to be a show that the Idol powers-to-be decided to showcase the dark side of the auditions or what, but rarely have I sat through an hour of the greatest show in television history with such an uneasiness.

Normally, there are up to eight or 10 contestants showcased that cause me think, “Yeah, they might be top 24 material.”

Not on this night.

I felt like I had the Rocky Horror Picture Show thrown at me, and the sound had been distorted.

I even combed through the past two years of this blog to try and find a night that produced so little potential — and I couldn’t.

That’s not to say the show was not entertaining. It was all of that, especially judge Katy Perry, who was featured on the second half of the program in relief of Avril Lavigne.

Jason Greene

Arguably the best exchange between judge and would-be contestant came between Perry, who gave us the hit song “I Kissed A Girl,” and 21-year-old student Jason Greene, who made an attempt at the Divinyls’ “I Touch Myself.”

Katy: “I feel … dirty.”

Jason: “You make me feel dirty, Katy.”

Katy: “It takes a lot for me to feel dirty.”

Jason: “I’m sure it does.”

Of course, Jason received four “nos” from the judges, but before he (finally) exited, he vowed to return next year. To which Simon muttered, “That was uncomfortable.”

That’s exactly the way I felt through the entire show.

THE GOOD

1. Andrew Garcia: He reminded be of a Latino version of 2009 third-place finisher Danny Gokey — same quality of voice and personality. Andrew also possessed one of the strangest backgrounds of any Idol contestant ever. Both of his parents were involved in gangs growing up. By far, Andrew was the winner of the night, at least from the few good auditions we were shown. Key comments:

Simon: A genuinely, genuinely … good singer. I’m glad I met you, Andrew.”

Randy: “You’ve got mad vocals” (I think that was the Dawg’s first “mad” reference of the season.)

Katy: “You gave me chills.”

2. Tasha Layton: She’s a part-time (female) minister, which might be a first for Idol. Her voice had a smooth Pentecostal appeal to it while singing a Joss Stone number. Definitely one to watch for in Hollywood Week. Key comments:

Simon: “I think people may like you.”

Tasha: “I’m going to Hollywood! … now what do I do?”

3. Mary Powers: Mary was part of what also seemed to be theme night, hers being Pat Benatar, complete with 1980s-looking “rock gear.” That aside, she has an appealing quality to her voice and an engaging personality. Key comments:

Kara: “Rock it, girl.”

Avril: “You have character to your voice. It’s raspy, I love that.” (And with that comment, Rod Stewart Nation let out a collective cheer.)

SEASON TOP 12

1. Matt Lawrence, Orlando
2. Andrew Garcia, Los Angeles
3. John Park, Chicago
4. Tyler Grady, Boston
5. Katelyn Epperley, Chicago
6. Jermaine Purifoy, Orlando
7. Tasha Layton, Los Angeles
8. Maddy Curtis, Boston
9. Ashley Rodriguez, Boston
10. Antonio “Skii Bo Ski” Wheeler, Atlanta
11. Jermaine Sellers, Atlanta
12. Katie Stevens, Boston

THE BAD

1. A.J. Mendoza: He told us he had swag. He wanted to be Adam Lambert and came off like Adam Cartwright. Key comments:

Simon: “It sounded like you just came from the dentist.”

A.J.: “I was honestly surprised they said no.”

THE WORST

On a night when there were plenty of weak links to choose from, one stood a little taller than the rest.

1. Damion Lefavor: He is a pacifist who is addicted to martial arts and makes sandwiches for a living. “Pepperoni, pepperoni, pepperoni,” he told us. He attempted to sing the Righteous Brothers’ “You’ve Lost That Loving Feeling.” Before he started the song, Damion also told us, “I’ve been trying to hit that one note for years. It’s my nemesis.” Let’s just say it still is. Key comment:

Simon: “Jason, you should just go.”

Austin Fullmer

2. Austin Fullmer: He scowled and pranced all the way through his version of “Surrender” by Cheap Trick. “I don’t care if people touch me,” Austin said to the camera. Simon felt he was a “disturbed young man.” I’m guessing Simon’s probably right. Key comments:

Simon: “This is not your purpose in life.”

Katy: “It’s … different.”

Austin: “There’s something my (performance) … Simon can’t handle it.”

3. Jayson Wilson: He screamed “All By Myself.”

4. Jesse Chang: Ah … li’l Jesse and his “Kung Fu Fighting” provided a few seconds of laughter.

IDOL THOUGHTS

Wednesday night’s show will be from Dallas. Hook ‘em ‘Horns. (A football reference for the sports fans reading this.)

Did there seem to be an excessive amount of hugging between the judges, especially Randy and Kara?

Avril Lavigne’s “devil” hoodie was a bit distracting.

I wasn’t sure if Katy Perry was serious or not about throwing the Coca-Cola in Kara’s face, but I was hoping their disagreements over talent would eventually come to just that.

FROM AROUND THE IDOL NATION  ... meet Simon’s replacement?

Tommy Mottola

From MTV.com: While plenty of names have been tossed around as potential replacements for Simon Cowell, when the acerbic British judge leaves American Idol after this season, the one name almost nobody has mentioned is reportedly the leading candidate. According to Deadline Hollywood, the show’s first choice to take Cowell’s place is former Sony Music boss Tommy Mottola, who helmed the company during Michael Jackson’s heyday and was once married to Mariah Carey. The only problem? Apparently Cowell also has his eyes on Mottola as a possible judge for his soon-to-launch reality talent competition X Factor. The site reports that the Idol braintrust has come up with a list of 25 potential Cowell replacements, and 60-year-old Mottola — owner of Casablanca Records — is at the top. Given his 15-year stint at the top of Sony Music Entertainment and long career in the music industry, Mottola is a strong candidate based on his credentials and ability to nurture talent, but his camera readiness is unknown. Over his career, Mottola has helped the careers of everyone from Hall & Oates to John Mellencamp, Carey, Jessica Simpson and Jennifer Lopez. The reported second choice is 38-year-old Guy Oseary, Madonna’s longtime business partner and former head of her Maverick Records, followed by Interscope/Geffen/A&M boss and music-industry legend Jimmy Iovine, who has helmed the careers of Eminem, Dr. Dre, 50 Cent and dozens of others, along with producing albums by U2, Tom Petty and Patti Smith.

From Michael Slezak, Entertainment Weekly, commenting on contestant John Park: “The rich, buttery baritone he displayed on Blood Sweat & Tears’ “I Love You More Than You’ll Ever Know” was perhaps the tastiest treat to come out of the first four audition episodes of season 9. Plus, his lips, teeth, and bottom end have Shania Twain’s stamp of approval. How can you not get behind the guy?”

From USA Today.com: The nation’s newspaper has a poll going on who is Idol’s all-time best third-place finisher. Danny Gokey is the early leader over Elliott Yamin, Melinda Doolittle and Jasmine Trias.

From New York Daily News: Her American Idol dreams could fall prey a personal nightmare — again. Contestant Angela Martin twice before earned a trip to Hollywood on the popular, Fox series. Shortly after winning her first golden ticket, her father was murdered, leaving the young Chicago woman too grief-stricken to compete. On her second try, she lost her spot thanks to a traffic court summons over an outstanding ticket. Now, with a third and final chance at realizing her dream, tragedy has struck again: Martin’s mother was reported missing after Christmas. The 28-year-old’s mom, Viola Brown, was going to visit Martin’s older sister after the holidays, but never arrived, according to People.com. On New Year’s Eve, her car was found abandoned near the south Chicago suburbs of Riverdale and Dixmoor.

What a story, but more importantly … what a voice.

I’ve got my first bona fide favorite of the fledgling American Idol season. He’s a 25-year-old ex-convict named Matt Lawrence, who blew away the judges — and me — during Wednesday night’s auditions show from Orlando, Fla.

Lawrence pulled off a drop-dead, boffo box office version of “Trouble” by Ray La Montagne. Lawrence looks like he could easily be a defensive tackle in the NFL, but possesses an incredibly surprising,  jaw-dropping, bluesy voice that was washed with sandpaper.

The minute Lawrence opened his mouth, I literally dropped my Energel Liquid Gel o.5 mm pen. I didn’t want him to stop singing. Seriously.

He spent four years in prison as a teenager for robbing a bank with a BB-gun and has admittedly been paying for that transgression ever since. He said he hopes Idol can provide an opportunity to gain back something he lost all those years ago.

I think he might very well get that opportunity, and judges Simon Cowell, Kara DioGuardi and Randy Jackson seemed to agree. Key comments:

Simon: “Brilliant. I was very impressed.”

Kara: “One of the best.”

Randy: “You are genuine, dude.”

Lawrence’s showing was the most impressive from what we saw from Orlando, where 31 tickets to Hollywood Week were earned from a turnout of 10,000. That was considerably better than the 13 from 12,000 the night before on the auditions show from Chicago.

THE GOOD

1. Matt Lawrence: I don’t mean to steal Randy’s thunder, but the dude is good. Real good.

2. Jermaine Purifoy: Jermaine dropped a little Tony Bennett on the judges and came across as extremely smooth, polished and confident. He tried out — and failed — in 2007, but returned with a quiet vengeance. If not for Matt Lawrence, this guy would have been No. 1 in Orlando. Key comments:

Simon: “I think the chicks will like you.”

Kara: “(Your voice) is honest. I believe you.”

Guest judge Kristin Chenoweth: “You have such a pure sound.”

Randy: “I was blown away.”

3. Seth Rollins: He was the bug guy with the son with special needs. He sang “Someone To Watch Over Me,” and was almost on par with Jermaine — but not quite. There’s room for growth with Seth, so he’s another to keep an eye on in Hollywood Week.

4. Bernadette Desimone: Both she and her sister, Amanda, advanced, but I liked Bernadette much more. She’s got the look and comes across more comfortable under a spotlight. She sang “Hit the Road Jack” by Ray Charles.

5. Brittany Starr Jones: We just got a glimpse of her, so call this a gut feeling at this point in time.

Theo Glinton

SEASON TOP 10

1. Matt Lawrence, Orlando
2. John Park, Chicago
3. Tyler Grady, Boston
4. Katelyn Epperley, Chicago
5. Jermaine Purifoy, Orlando
6. Maddy Curtis, Boston
7. Ashley Rodriguez, Boston
8. Antonio “Skii Bo Ski” Wheeler, Atlanta
9. Jermaine Sellers, Atlanta
10. Katie Stevens, Boston

THE BAD

Theo Glinton: He led off the show, all glammed up with the Lady Gaga eye look. He singing was borderline unintelligible. I think he tried to do “Heartbreaker” by Pat Benatar. Four words: Rick. James. Super. Freak.

THE WORST

Jarred Norrel: Well, we finally saw an Idol contestant removed in handcuffs. He actually got off lucky. I thought the CSI: Miami-esque security guys would be forced to Taser him before much longer. Poor Jarred warbled through an AWFUL version of “Amazing Grace” that was worse than any fingernails on any blackboard anywhere. Then, the goofball would not exit. Definitely the stuff of Idol legend. Key comments:

Jarrod Norrell

Kara: “Good Lord, what was that. (Your voice) sounds like a lawn mower.”

Jarrod: “Are you serious?”

Randy: “You can’t sing.”

IDOL THOUGHTS

We heard Simon’s top criticism of the season to date when he unleashed, “You walked in like a cocktail stick and sang like you sat on a cat.”

Cornelius Edwards provided another “first” when he split his pants while doing the splits. He also informed the judges he learned his moves from friends in the “adult entertainment” industry.

Shelby Dressel was another warm story. She ahs a facial deformity, but her “Turn Me On” by Norah Jones proved she had the chops for Hollywood. I couldn’t in good faith put her among “the best,” but I hope she wows ‘em in Holly wood. She seems like a great kid.

Tuesday night’s show will feature the auditons from Los Angeles. California shows are usually highly entertaining.

FROM AROUND THE NATION:

The Hollywood Reporter: “Simon Cowell is in discussions with Paula Abdul and Cheryl Cole to become judges on his new show, X Factor. Cowell previously announced that this would be his last season on American Idol and that he would leave to focus on a stateside version of his hit U.K. show, X Factor, which will debut on Fox in fall 2011. The only question was: who would sit at the judges’ table with him? Abdul, who quit Idol in August during a contract dispute, would make perfect sense sitting next to Cowell again. After all, Cowell recently said he “adores” her. Cole is a less familiar choice to American audiences. The 26-year-old is already a fellow panelist with Cowell on the U.K. version of X Factor.”

The DailyBeast.com: “Whether you love the three weeks of audition episodes that kick off American Idol each season or consider them to be a slog through the ranks of America’s deluded and talentless, one thing is certain: They are popular. Last week’s two-night premiere, during which the judges searched for singers in Boston and Atlanta, drew an average of 28 million viewers.”

New York Daily News: “(Guest judge Shania Twain was) always looking alert and attentive, she often sat forward in her chair, elbows propped up on the table and chin resting in her hands, and she was given to open expressions of surprise – shaded with dismay or delight – at contestants’ efforts. Her signature look had her eyebrows raised, and eyes wide in happy, or more often appalled disbelief. One thing that really made her stand out from her guest-judge predecessors was her chemistry with Simon. It wasn’t that Posh and Mary J. didn’t have it, but her easy rapport with him is something that had been missing in Boston and Atlanta.”

The Associated Press: “In my mind, the biggest winners ever on American Idol have been girls, I mean that have gone on to huge success with Carrie Underwood, with Kelly Clarkson, these are your big, huge, giant success stories,” judge Randy Jackson said.

“Skii Bo Ski.”

The Church Boy.

Tommy Boy.

The second night of American Idol auditions produced even more characters, but probably not as much talent. When Wednesday’s Atlanta auditions had ended, I felt like I had laughed more than I did while watching Tuesday’s show from Boston, but according to my notes, I didn’t “find” as many blue-chip prospects.

Atlanta has held five Idol auditions and produced some of the show’s most memorable talents, beginning with Clay Aiken in 2003. I’m not sure if this year’s cast from the ATL has any future legends in it, but this 90-minute episode was quality entertainment from beginning to end.

Here’s the rundown:

THE GOOD

1. Antonio “Skii Bo Ski” Wheeler: Even though he looked like he just left the Tangerine Bowl after the Monday Night League, “Skii Bo Ski” came through as as aspiring Marvin Gaye to all of the judges — except Simon, who I swear must have not been listening. “Skii Bo Ski” was totally annoying with his goofball comments, but the kid definitely has the talent to reach the top 24. Definitely. Key comment:

Randy (to “Skii Bo Ski’s” jibberish): “What are you saying?”

2. Jermaine Sellers: “The Church Boy” from Joliet, Ill., has powerhouse potential. He wowed the judges with Joan Osborne’s “What If God Was One Of Us,” a song I would bet my keyboard on had never been heard before on Idol. Jermaine is already polished. How broad his repertoire will determine his Hollywood fate. Key comments:

Randy: “You’ve got skills. This kid is hot!”

Mary J.: “What great control … that was annointed.”

3. Keia Johnson: The girl can sing, as she demonstrated with “My Heart Goes On,” but … what great hair and personality. I’m not sure if she has enough — as Randy would say — “mad skills” to reach the round of 24, but she definitely deserved her gold ticket.

4. Bryan Walker: Probably the feel-good story of the night, a singing policeman. He sang “Superstar” by the Carpenters and did it very well, but I had a problem. I kept envisioning Chris Farley in “Tommy Boy,” when he sang the same song driving down the road with David Spade. Key comments:

Kara: “This is what I love about this job. That was great.”

Mary J.: “You don’t have to prove anything.”

5. Carmen Turner: I have no idea what she sang, but I know I liked it. And she’s got a great look.

6. Holly Harden: “Guitar Girl” came out dressed like … well, a guitar. But hidden beneath the weird gear was a great voice. “You Ain’t Woman Enough To Take My Man” by Loretta Lynn was her choice and she made it work. Key comments:

Simon: “You look like an insect.”

Kara: “She’s a ballsy girl.”

Mary J.: “I don’t get it.”

Holly: “I can lose the guitar outfit.”

7. Mallory Haley: She was good enough to get to Hollywood with her “Piece of My Heart” by Janis Joplin, but I didn’t see the same star potential the four judges did.

Jesse Hamilton

8. Larry Platt: If you saw the show, you know I would have Larry on this list. Larry is 62 years old, but still wowed the judges with his “Pants On the Ground” song. And if you heard the it, I’m sure you’re just like me and can’t get it out of your head. Even Simon had to laugh.

THE BAD

Dewone Robinson: Poor Dewone. He had such high hopes, not to mention an even higher opinion of himself. His uncle was a member of Galdys Knight and the Pips, or so he said. He referred to himself as a “diamond in the rough.” Dewone attempted to sing an original ballad, which was supposed to be a duet sung by one person — and the term “sung” is used very, very loosely. Key comment:

Simon: “I can honestly say that was the worst original song I have ever heard.” (I can honestly say Simon was right.)

THE WORST

Lamar Royal: Not one word was intelligible. And he screamed. A lot.

Lamar: “I wish Paula was here. (Bleep) you all!”

Randy: “That was torturous.”

Mary J.: “Stop trying to exalt yourself.”

Lamar Royal

Jesse Hamilton: Oh my. Oh my my. First we heard how Jesse had survived three near-death experiences, then when he went to sing Garth Brooks’ “The River” he forgot the words. All of them. Could not remember any of them. So then he tried another Garth ballad, “If Tomorrow Never Comes,” and though he made it through the song it was not pretty, one of those fingernails-on-the-blackboard efforts. On the positive side, he handled the judges’ barbs extremely well and exited quietly. Key comments:

Simon: “Go back to welding.”

Jesse (to his family): “They crucified me.”

TOP 10 TO DATE:

1. Tyler Grady, Boston
2. Maddy Curtis, Boston
3. Ashley Rodriguez, Boston
4. Bosa Mora, Boston
5. Antonio “Skii Bo Ski” Wheeler, Atlanta
6. Jermaine Sellers, Atlanta
7. Katie Stevens, Boston
8. Keia Johnson, Atlanta
9. Byan Walker, Atlanta
10. Amadeo Diricco, Boston

GUEST JUDGE

The personable Mary J. Blige was far more entertaining than Posh Spice (Victoria Beckham) the night before. Mary J. actually looked like she was having a good time — and also looked like she eats three square meals a day. One columnist referred to Posh as “Skeletor.”

Just a thought … is Mary J. this generation’s Aretha Franklin?

IDOL RATINGS DOMINATED THE DECADE OF THE 2000s

From the Daily Oklahoman: The most-watched TV show last decade? American Idol. Second most-watched show of decade? American Idol.

That’s quite an accomplishment, considering the show opened without much hype as a summer replacement series in June 2002 on Fox.

Even more amazing? American Idol occupies eight of the top 10 spots in the decade’s most-watched list based on Nielsen ratings from 2000 to 2009. And 11 of the Top 15 spots also belong to Idol, which opened its ninth season Tuesday.

Taylor Hicks

Season 5, won by Taylor Hicks, was the decade’s ratings winner. An average of 31 million viewers tuned in each Tuesday for the performance show (No. 1 on the list), while 30 million returned on Wednesday for the results show (No. 2).

Keeping “Idol” from a top-eight clean sweep was CBS reality competition show Survivor. Season 2 of Survivor, set in the Australian Outback and won by Tina Wesson, is No. 3 on the list with an average of 29.8 million watchers each week. And Season 1, set in Borneo and won by Richard Hatch, is No. 6 with 28.3 million watchers.

CBS’s crime drama “CSI” is the only other show to make the decade’s top 15. It averaged 26.3 million total viewers for Season 5 and 26.2 million for Season 6 — placing it at No. 12 and 13 on the list.

Idol Factoid: American Idol has been the top-rated show for five years among all viewers and for six years among the advertiser-favored 18 to 49 audience.

FROM AROUND THE NATION:

Michael Slezak, Entertainment Weekly, talking about Tuesday night’s season debut: “As for 16-year-old Maddy (Kurtis), whose nerves trembled through an otherwise lovely rendition of ”Hallelujah,” whose deep affection for her four brothers with Down syndrome had me eyeing the Kleenex box, and whose final declaration (”I really enjoyed singing for you”) slayed me hardest of all, would it make me the worst person alive to say that I wish the judges had voted ”No” on a golden ticket? Because the thing is, the girl actually has poise and charm and real talent — or as Simon would explain it, she’s not ”annoying” like so many young contestants — but she could use a couple years to hone her gift, to build her confidence, to have a legit shot at the Idol crown. Maybe I’m overthinking it. Maybe in a world where Norman Gentle got an all-expenses-paid trip to L.A., this ninth kid in a string of 12 siblings deserves a Fox-sponsored vacation and a taste of the dream.”

The Associated Press: “I think people love to love the show,” said Mike Darnell, Fox’s executive in charge of alternative programming. “It’s one of the few phenomena that exist: the Super Bowl, the Oscars, American Idol. It’s an American tradition.”

The Los Angeles Times: “I know it’s only one night … but this is really amazing,” Darnell said. “‘American Idol’ in a different universe.” Of course, American Idol is a huge machine now. A strong premiere, given the attention on Simon Cowell, the departure of Paula Abdul and the arrival of Ellen DeGeneres, who will make her debut next month, is not that huge a shock. The challenge will be maintaining that pace throughout the coming months. Besides landing 29.9 million viewers, American Idol owned the night among adults ages 18-49, attracting 15.5 million in that coveted demographic group, which is also about even with a year ago. The show was up almost 10 percent among adults 18-34.”

Reuters: “Top-rated television show American Idol debuted to solid viewership Tuesday night, luring nearly 30 million viewers overall and rising slightly among younger audiences, according to early ratings on Wednesday. Simon Fuller, the program’s executive producer, called it a “perfect start” to the show’s ninth season on Fox. “With Ellen DeGeneres coming on board and Simon Cowell departing, we are all set to have another memorable chapter in ‘Idol’s’ history,” Fuller said

Bosa Mora

Bosa Mora is why I watch American Idol, and it’s why I love this show so much.

Mora is of Nigerian ancestry — the Christian Okoye of Idol, if you will — and lives in Columbus, Ohio, so the last thing in the world I would expect to come out of his mouth was the country hit by George Strait, “You Look So Good In Love.”

But that’s exactly what Bosa gave us on the opening night of Idol’s ninth season, a year that will be judge Simon Cowell’s last. Simon’s announcement Monday that this is his final season completely dominated all Idol conversation — until the show itself began. That’s when those feel-good stories like Bosa Mora’s and the goofiness of hundreds of others took center stage.

The guest judge was Posh Spice (Victoria Beckham), who worked well with Simon, Randy Jackson and Kara DioGuardi, but more about that in a few paragraphs.

Here are some thoughts about the contestants from the first night:

THE GOOD

1. Tyler Grady: Probably the surprise of the night, at least for me. He walked into the audition room with two broken wrists (he fell out of a tree) — and then promptly delivered a jaw-dropping “Let’s Get It On” by Marvin Gaye. And he did it with, as Randy so correctly observed, a Jim Morrison-esque style, complete with the outstretched right hand. I’ll be shocked if he’s not in this for the long haul. Key comments:

Posh: “I love the whole look.”

Simon: “This is one of those auditions I will remember.”

Kara: “You rocked it and you’re going to Hollywood!”

2. Maddy Curtis: All of 18 minutes into the first show of the year and I was wiping a tear from my eye. For starters, this 16-year-old blew the judges away with her rendition of Leonard Cohen’s “Hallelujah,” the song Jason Castro aced during his Idol run. Maddy, who comes from a family with special needs children, possesses that charming, innocent kind of talent that has the opportunity to grow and develop as this four-month journey unfolds. Remember Maddy, I think she will be around for quite awhile. Key comments:

Simon: “There’s a soul in there, Maddy.”

Kara: “When you sing, it sounds authentic.”

3. Ashley Rodriguez: Another good bet when Hollywood Week begins. If you saw “Ellen” on Tuesday, she showcased Ashley. This girl might be the total package. It’s always difficult to gauge at this point of the competition, but this is already one polished talent, which was displayed with her “If I Ain’t Got You” effort. Key comments:

Kara: “You have the look and the voice. I love you. You’re very sultry.”

Simon: “Some people have got it, and I think you really have it.”

4. Bosa Mora: I really, really enjoyed the smoothness and sincerity in his voice. I think this could be one of the year’s real underdogs that America takes to its heart. Hollywood Week will make or break him, and my money is on the former.

5. Katie Stevens: Another 16-year-old who can belt out a song. Her “Summertime” was tremendous. She may have possessed the best natural voice of all the talents shown on opening night. I want to hear a little more up-tempo from her next time. All that glitters is not necessarily gold (rememeber Stevie Wright from a year ago?), but I think Katie is the real deal.

6. Amadeo Diricco: The Idol Mafia has landed. Just let me say this guy is great. I’m not sure if the Italian Stallion has enough talent to reach the round of 24, but he certainly has the passion — and I guarantee America already loves this guy. As I watched and listened to Diricco, 28, sing “Hoochie Coochie Man” by Muddy Waters, I kept thinking about old school pro wrestler Dominic DeNucci.

7. Leah Laurenti: The judges went mildly ga-ga over the Long Island, N.Y., native, but I wasn’t comppletely blown away. There is definite talent there, but I’m not sure it is star quality like four and possibly five others. I would have also preferred something a little more modern than “Blue Skies.”

8. Mike Davis: I liked his take on the Beatles’ “Yesterday.” I also liked the fact he drives a tourist boat named Codzilla. Did you notice the background music to his introductory piece was “Dirty Water” by the Standells, a 1960s Boston band? Very well done, Idol folks.

9. Justin Williams: A cancer survivor from Utah who bears a striking resemblance to a young George Michael, and possesses a similar kind of voice.

THE BAD

Janet McNamara: The first OMG moment of the season was the first contestant out of the chute and she did not disappoint. The Jumping Girl had obviously frank a few of those energy drinks before her audition, and it showed in both her speech and mannerisms. Her claim to fame was having played — and mastered — the American Idol video game. She was, of course, hilarious, especially when she repeatedly referred to Kara as “Paula.” We’ll see her again in one of those best of the worst recaps.

Norberto Guerrero

 Norberto Guerrero: I have no idea what he was singing, but Simon’s comment about his LaToya Jackson-like hair and wardrobe was classic. Simon also referred to him as “strange.” Seemed like a nice guy, but Simon was right.

THE WORST

Andrew Fenlon: Wow, meet Mr. Negative. He was irritated he had to wait to perform and entered the audition room with a sour attitude that had Simon refer to him as a “smart ass.” Kara simply told poor Andrew she “did not like him.” After he butchered “House of the Rising Sun,” he swapped insults with the judges, particularly Kara. The most telling comment came from Kara after Andrew had exited:

Kara: “I feel like I need to take a shower.”

THE JUDGES

Simon: A great night to kick off his swan song season. Some quality insults toward the lame contestants and the expected back-and-forth with foils Kara, Randy and Posh.

Posh Spice (Victoria Beckham): She was not afraid to mix it up a little with Simon, but one night of David Beckham’s wife was enough.

Kara: She seems more at ease this year and does not seem to be trying to impress anyone or demonstrate that she belongs. Could be a good year for Kara.

Randy: The Dawg was rather subdued, but if history is any indication he never gets revved up until the finals.

TALENT WILL BE LINING UP TO BE SIMON’S REPLACEMENT

I found the following comment from Kevin Reilly, president of entertainment at the Fox Network, on Simon leaving Idol after this season:

“I think Simon said it himself …We are not going to replace him, but we are going to look for somebody that has a lot of credibility and charisma, because first and foremost, we need somebody who really knows what they’re doing. And I will tell you this: The level of talent that has expressed an interest in the show, starting with Ellen [DeGeneres], is pretty astounding. It’s almost like you can’t think big enough. So there’s going to be no shortage of choices. Very big acts in the music business, because this has become the music business.”

Reilly makes a good point. Who would not want to be the No. 1 man on television’s No. 1 show? I have confidence Fox will not make the same mistake NBC did in the Conan O’Brien-Jay Leno fiasco.

Will Idol survive? Most definitely. Think of Idol as your favorite baseball team. Star players retire and/or get traded. The show goes on — sometimes bigger and better than ever.

Don’t worry, friends. We’ll be back here a year from now talking about the greatest show in television history.

CARRIE’S STILL THE QUEEN

As far as record sales in 2009 for Idol alumni, Carrie Underwood remains the leader of the pack, selling a combined 1.9 million. Here’s a breakdown for ex-Idol contestants with at least 215,000 in sales:

1. Carrie Underwood, Play On, 1,183,000
2. Chris Daughtry, Leave This Town, 862,000
3. Kelly Clarkson, All I Ever Wanted, 815,000
4. David Cook, David Cook, 464,000
5. Carrie Underwood, Carnival Ride, 461,000
6. Adam Lambert, For Your Entertainment, 434,000
7. Chris Daughtry, Daughtry, 267,000
8. Carrie Underwood, Some Hearts, 251,000
9. Jennifer Hudson, Jennifer Hudson, 239,000
10. Kris Allen, Kris Allen, 228,000
11. Kellie Pickler, Kellie Pickler, 218,000

The figures are according to SoundScan.