Greetings from Stevie Love, or as I am better known to my constituents as … the pharaoh of feelings,
the sultan of sentiment, the potentate of passion.
Normally in this space I am offering tips for those who have been scarred by a tragic relationship or simply looking how to get a date to the next Josh Groban concert.
Today, however, is a real treat. We’re going to talk about Stevie Love … the ruler of romance, the triton of tenderness, the prince of precious.
Each Saturday in The Herald-Whig is a feature titled "Your Turn," where a member of the community tells you a little about himself (or herself) via a list of 25 questions. Stevie Love is answering those same questions today:
1. Who are you? Stevie Love, of course.
2. Tell us about yourself. I am the self-professed doctor of love, admittedly possessing the intellect of Dr. Phil and the animal magnetism of Brad Pitt. I have been called the Rod Stewart for all generations. Their words, my friends. Not mine.
3. When I was a kid, I wanted to be … exactly what I am today — amazing in my own special way. In the words of Don Meredith, "Son, if you can do it, it ain’t braggin’."
4. What would you rather be doing right now? If not solving another problem of the heart for a devoted reader, I would prefer to be sharing a cup of Norwegian tea with Bono, plotting a better course for all mankind.
5. Shhhhhh! Don’t tell anyone that … I can play the accordion.
6. Other than your wedding day and/or the birth of your children, what was your proudest moment? Probably the day that Oprah asked me to join her as a co-host and I had to politely refuse. Stevie doesn’t share the love. It would be cheating his followers.
7. It really stinks when … women of all ages cannot keep their hands off me at the local supermarket. At the end of the day, I am still just an ordinary guy, Brad Pitt magnetism or not.
8. What word in the dictionary would your face be next to? "Suave." Or possibly "fearless."
9. I always laugh when … I think about how many times Dear Abby used to call me for advice.
10. Invite any three people, living or dead, to dinner. Who are they? Sarah Palin, Jeff Gordon and whoever invented pizza. If there is one thing Stevie Love knows, it is beautiful women, and sassy Sarah is No. 1 on the Doctor of Love’s ultimate top 10. Jeff Gordon is the greatest NASCAR driver there was, is or will be. And I’d just like to thank the guy who came up with the idea of combining mushrooms, pepperoni, a big oven and free delivery.
11. At the end of a really long day at work, I like to … eat.
12. People who knew me in high school thought I was … destined for greatness. They were right.
13. My most unforgettable brush with greatness was with … the mirror.
14. I would drop all my plans tonight if I had the chance to … share a pizza with Sarah Palin.
15. If someone gave me a million dollars, there is STILL no way I would … cancel the pizza with Sarah Palin.
16. America should be more concerned about … writing my name in for president Nov. 4.
17. I’m OK if there’s ever a national shortage of … advice.
18. What place in the world would you most like to visit? The chocolate factory in Hershey, Pa.
19. What is the most useful piece of advice you have ever received? "Love is but a game, my son. Always take two and hit to right."
20. When I’m cruising down the road, I’m likely listening to … some sporting event or oldies radio. Few people know that Stevie Love was Stevie Athlete in a previous life. I once played professional football under the pseudonymn Bernie Kosar. Yeah, that was me. No. 19. The good-looking guy with the curly hair hanging out the back of his helmet.
21. I always get sentimental when … a Milli Vanilli song comes on the radio.
22. The older I get, the more I realize … I have a lot to share.
23. If I had one “do-over,” I would … have started sharing much earlier in life.
24. My favorite item of clothing is … my old Nehru jacket from the early 1970s. I wore it on the first date I had with Olivia Newton-John.
25. If I’ve learned anything at all … it’s to always listen to myself. Stevie Love always knows best.