Why do we love pro wrestling so much? We know it's scripted, yet it is an amazing form of escapism. We may put it on the shelf for weeks, months, even years at a time, but we always come back. One man's Bruno Sammartino is another's Hulk Hogan.

Pro wrestling is now as much a part of our pop culture and regular viewing habits as texting and satellite television. How did it become so mainstream, how has it maintained its place in the global village? Those questions alone would require a semester of study, so let me make it much simpler.

Pro wrestling's longstanding hold on our fantasy psyches can be attributed in large part to some extremely talented — in one way or another — individuals who made the sport what it is (or in some minds, what it isn't).

In reverse order, here are my picks for the five most important pro wrestlers of the modern era and a few honorable mentions:

HONORABLE MENTION I: Randy "Macho Man" Savage was always in the shadow of Hogan or Ric Flair, depending on which acronymn he was wrestling with at the time. He had an amazing presence about him and I would guess every wrestling fan who ever watched him smiled when he cut loose with an "Ohhhhh yehhhhhhhhhhh." Oh, and Miss Elizabeth was pretty sweet, too.

HONORABLE MENTION II: Bobby "The Brain" Heenan was the finest manager of the modern era. His biting wit later led him to the announcer's table where he deserved an Emmy. For what it's worth, I saw him wrestle in the early 1980s in Lorain, Ohio, and he was … well, a much better manager and announcer.

HONORABLE MENTION III: Andre the Giant. The big man could not wrestle a lick and always seemed to be a suplex away from a heart attack, but the fans loved him. He remains one of wrestling's most popular figures ever.

HONORABLE MENTION IV: Gordon Solie, the longtime announcer for the old Ted Turner in-studio broadcasts. If there is pro wrestling in heaven, Gordon Solie will be calling the action.

5. STEVE AUSTIN

In-ring wrestling ability: 3. "Stone Cold" Steve Austin's role was a brute, a bully that Joe the Plumber would love. Long gone were his days as a Hollywood Blond tag teamer by the time he became a WWF/E superstar.

Microphone prowess: 9. Austin was Everyman at the mic, spewing venom — and Budweiser — at whoever got in his way. And he was mighty good at it.

Durability: 5. Injuries robbed him of some vital time while at the apex of his WWF/E career, which is a shame. He had the potential to be Hogan-esque in a dark way.

Popularity: 10. He was boffo box office. That can never be questioned.

Intangible: 4. While incredibly popular overall, Austin never seemed to quite have the degree of connection with the fans as Hogan or The Rock.

Total score: 31

4. THE ROAD WARRIORS

In-ring wrestling ability: 2. The Legion of Doom — Hawk and Animal — had no real wrestling talent. They simply beat people up under the leadership of manager Precious Paul Ellering, and that's why we loved them. They were among the first "heels" to command the same kind of following as the guys who wore white.

Microphone prowess: 5. Neither Hawk or Animal was exceptional when it came to speaking roles, but who cared! They were scary just standing there.

Durability: 7. The Road Warriors are arguably the finest tag team of all-time. There would be no question if they had managed to stay at the top of their game just a few years longer.

Popularity: 10. The Road Warriors, the Ultimate Warrior and Sting probably did more for the sale of face paint than Gene Simmons and KISS.

Intangible: 8. How popular were the Road Warriors? The son of Animal (Joe Laurinitis) is a linebacker at Ohio State, and at each home game, a section of the student body dons Road Warrior gear. Long live the Warriors. (And rest in peace, Hawk.)

Total score: 32

3. THE ROCK

In-ring wrestling ability: 7. The Rock "looked" better than he really was when it came to in-ring talent, but what he had more than anything else was the "It" factor. People loved him, just like Hogan.

Microphone prowess: 10. The man was amazing when the cameras were rolling. I can still smell what The Rock was cooking.

Durability: 3. His career was brief, but he was the perfect man at the perfect time. He took wrestling to a higher level, not to mention his own (out-of-ring) career. He was good for wrestling, wrestling was good for him.

Popularity: 8. When The Rock went on hiatus to make his first movie, it was the beginning of the end, as far as his wrestling career was concerned. If he had opted for the canvas and ropes instead of the silver screen, I truly believe his status would have been legendary by now.

Intangible: 9. The Rock, in many ways, was the Sandy Koufax of pro wrestling. His short-lived time in the spotlight was dynamic and memorable.

Total score: 37.

2. RIC FLAIR

In-ring wrestling ability: 8. "The Nature Boy" often showcased his best moves outside the squared circle, most notably The Strut. Since he was more of a rulebreaker during his career, he rarely offered any flashy finishing moves. His trademark in-ring thing was being tossed head-over-heels into the corner, where he would invariably wind up with his legs clinging to the top ropes and his head buried in the corner.

Microphone prowess: 9. Flair's legendary "Whoooooooo" was his signature statement. A slight speech impediment never got in his way of being a premier showman.

Durability: 10. If it seems like Slick Ric has been around forever, it's because he has.

Popularity: 8. For most of his career he was like pre-Jeff Gordon NASCAR, a fixture in the southeast but not that well-known to most of the country. When Flair became a true national figure, it could be argued his best days were behind him, but he still carved out his piece of the lucrative pro wrestling boom that started with the nationwide push of Hulk Hogan.

Intangible: 6. Flair has been a poster boy for pro wrestling much longer than Hogan, although not quite reaching the same level of superstardom. The only difference in the two was Hogan had the WWF/WWE promotion machine behind him. Flair was never that fortunate.

Total score: 41.

1. HULK HOGAN

In-ring wrestling ability: 4. The Hulkster was never mistaken for Chris Jericho, The Heartbreak Kid or Jimmy "Superfly" Snuka," but did we really mind? Nah. Hogan's schtick outside the ring and in front of microphone was gold.

Microphone prowess: 10. I always felt Hogan would have been a tremendous used car salesman. After he was done pleading with the TV audience — of which I was often apart — I was ready to take my vitamins and say my prayers, just like all the millions of little Hulksters watching along with me.

Durability: 9. The man stood the test of time far better than most of his contemporaries. Hogan has re-invented himself more times than Madonna.

Popularity: 10. No wrestler before or him or after ever worked a crowd the way Hogan could, and no wrestler before him or since has ever come close to the amount of merchandise his name sold. Steve Austin was on par with Hogan in this area, but for a far shorter period of time. 

Intangible: 10. Let's face facts. The Hulkster was bald, had a limited in-ring repertoire and was not especially liked by many of his peers, but for more than 20 years, he has remained a powerful force in pro wrestling, either in the ring or behind the scenes.

Total score: 43.

The most underrated singers and bands of all-time? For my money, there are three who deserve automatic inclusion into the Overlooked Hall of Fame.

This is one of those open-ended discussions where there is no right or wrong answers. This is simply a starting point and I'll be anxious to examine your responses.

The criteria I'm using is the singer or band in question had to enjoy some level of mass acceptance, but (in my mind, or yours) not as much as he, she or they may have deserved.

MOST UNDERRATED FEMALE SINGER

Dusty Springfield: She was an incredible combination of Donna Summer, Lulu and Janis Joplin, an amazing talent who could pull off a ballad or upbeat offering with equal ease. Her distinctive, gravelly voice set her far, far apart from her peers. Her best years came at a time when female singers were cast in a Petula Clark-type mold and actually discouraged from experimenting with different styles and risky undertakings. Pop singers in the mid-1960s were little more than musical versions of the Stepford Wives. Also hindering Dusty Springfield was her English heritage. By the time mainstream American had truly discovered her, the pop scene had all but passed her by. Remarkably, she made a comeback in the 1987 as part of the Pet Boys' "What Have I Done to Deserve This?" single and she sounded as good as ever. Unfortunately, she died of breast cancer at the all-too-young age of 59 in 1999, the year she was inducted into the Rock and Roll Hall of Fame.

Notable: "You could hear just three notes, and you knew it was Dusty," composer Burt Bacharach once said.

Sad, but true: She battled substance abuse much of her adult life.

The Best of Dusty Springfield:

"I Only Want To be With You"

"Wishin' and Hopin'"

"You Don't Have to Say You Love Me"

"A Brand New Me"

"Son Of A Preacher Man"

 

MOST UNDERRATED MALE SINGER

Gary Puckett: To this day, Gary Puckett is credited by many with delivering the first power pop ballads. Some of his hits with the Union Gap remain legendary. He still tours as a solo act, and at age 65, his voice is not as strong as it was at the height of his career (1967-72), but his trademark smooth, rich sound remains. For those born after Watergate, imagine Josh Groban with a little more power to  his voice and a few guitars, keyboard and drums backing him up. That would at least provide a hint to what Gary Puckett meant to pop music 40 years ago. Unlike today, when all genres of music receive (almost) an equal amount of respect, Puckett never received the credit he deserved because rock music had yet to command center stage among critics and fans alike. Puckett came in at the tail end of the Frank Sinatra-Dean Martin-Engelbert Humperdinck era. He was as good — or better — than any and all of them, but because he had long hair and fronted a pop/rock band, he was dismissed by many.

Notable: Gary Puckett and the Union Gap, although known for some of the most memorable songs of their era, never had a No. 1 record in the United States. They did reach No. 1 in the United Kingdom with "Young Girl."

Sad, but true: Another hurdle Puckett and the band had to endure were the battles over some of the "controversial" lyrics of some of their songs. By today's standards, those same songs would not even raise an eyebrow, but in the late 1960s and early 1970s, they were banned by some self-serving radio stations.

The Best of Gary Puckett:

"Woman, Woman"

"This Girl Is A Woman Now"

"Lady Willpower"

"Over You"

"Let's Give Adam and Eve Another Chance"

MOST UNDERRATED GROUP

The Grass Roots: How can a band that once spent 307 straight weeks on the Billboard charts for be underrated? Or be one of only nine bands that have charted 29 or more Top 100 Billboard singles? Oh yeah, my boys also sold more than 30 million records worldwide. Why aren't they considered in the same breath as the Beatles or Rolling Stones, two other fairly well-known groups that came to prominence at roughly the same time period? To be honest, I'm not sure. My best guess is the Grass Roots' pop sound was not as edgy as the Rolling Stones, and none of the band members was ever in trouble with the law (at least that we know about) for illegal drug use, marrying underage girls or anything else you might find on the Stones' dossier. As far as the Beatles are concerned, I'm not foolish enough to say "Midnight Confressions" and "Sooner or Later" deserve the same place in history as "Hey Jude" or "Yesterday." I'm just saying that the Grass Roots had a great sound for more than a decade, churned out one hit after another, but they never had the overall acceptance of many of their contemporaries.

Notable: The Grass Roots never had a No. 1 song on the Billboard charts.

Sad, but true: The Grass Roots are not in the Rock and Roll Hall of Fame.

The Best of the Grass Roots:

"Midnight Confessions"

"Sooner or Later"

"Heaven Knows"

"Where Were You When I Needed You"

"Temptation Eyes"

For those who have read my column in Wednesday’s edition concerning the top 10 westerns of all time, consider this a follow-up. For those who have not read the column and/or have no intentions of doing so, that’s OK, too. If you have enjoyed western-type movies at any point in your life — or still do — see how my all-time top 10 cowboys stacks up to yours:

1. ERROL FLYNN: As I mentioned in the column, it has always been amazing to me how popular — and convincing — Flynn was an American cowboy. The Australian-born actor never attempted to hide his obvious accent, but for some reason he was able to come across as convincing as Gen George Armstrong Custer or the sheriff of Dodge City as he was Robin Hood, a swashbuckler on the high seas or private eye. He was arguably pne of history’s most accomplished actors. Favorite movie: "They Died With Their Boots On."

2. CLINT EASTWOOD: I have never been a huge fan of the Clint Eastwood westerns as a franchise, although I have always enjoyed his performances. The westerns he has been involved with have notoriously been of the darker nature, not your typical Hollywood shoot-em-up epics of the 1940s, 1950s and 1960s, which I prefer. Eastwood himself, however, has been outstanding in almost any role he has undertaken in a 10-gallon hat, dating back to his television days on "Rawhide" as hired hand Rowdy Yates. Favorite movie: "The Outlaw Josey Wales."

3. JOHN WAYNE: I can hear the keyboards tapping right now, with responses to The Duke being "only" No. 3. Sorry, but there is no way I can rank him above the first two. John Wayne was more of a legendary figure than an accomplished actor, and I would have been honored to call him my friend, but Errol Flynn and Clint Eastwood were far better in cowboy roles than The Duke. Favorite movie: Seriously, there are so many to choose from, but I may have to lean toward 1948′s "Red River." If I had my favorite western movie list to do over again, I would have added this Howard Hawks-directed epic in place of either "The Alamo" or "Dances With Wolves."

4. RANDOLPH SCOTT: He was once immortalized in the Statler Brothers song, "Whatever Happened to Randolph Scott?" I think he will forever be shortchanged in the cowboy actors hall of fame because he will always be remembered as  the second-best cowboy of the John Wayne era. Favorite movie: "Santa Fe," one of the top westerns of the 1950s.

5. WARD BOND: In the large majority of his films, Bond was always a supporting actor and was often the perfect compliment to whoever the leading man may have been. Bond, Alan Hale and Waler Brennan all fit this mold. Few realize he was a lifelong friend of John Wayne. The two were also college football teammates at USC. Favorite movie: "Wagon Master."

6. HENRY FONDA: Interestingly, I was never much of a fan of Fonda in films outside of his westerns, but some of his cowboy movies rank among my favorites. Favorite movie: I hate "ties," but I simply can’t decide between "My Darling Clementine" and "Fort Apache." The former is a tale involving the legend of Wyatt Earp, while the latter portrayed him as  Lt. Col. Owen Thursday, which has to be one of the greatest-ever names for a movie character.

7. GARY COOPER: I always considered Coop the "quiet" version of John Wayne. Maybe it was just me, but it always seemed Cooper’s films carried more of a cerebral feel to them. Favorite movie: "High Noon."

8. LEE MARVIN: One of the great character actors ever, Marvin succeeded as both a leading man and lieutenant. He was at his best as a whiskey-drinking, gun-toting bad guy. Favorite movie: "The Professionals."

9. JOEL McCREA: I once read where Joel McCrea and Randolph Scott would always be considered the kings of the "B" westerns. That’s probably an accurate observation, but those two wound up in some quality efforts, too. Favorite movie: "Ride the High Country."

10.  SAM ELLIOTT: The guy always looked and sounded like a cowboy should. He actually made his film debut in "Butch Cassidy and the Sundance Kid." Favorite movie: "Tombstone."

I was asked recently why I always list "11" people I would like to meet instead of 10. That’s a real good question, and by the next time I do this I’ll try and have an answer. In the meantime, here are 11 more individuals I’d like to invite to lunch, and where we would go:

1. SARAH PALIN, politician: Because she’s deep, insightful, has a feel for the pulse of the nation? Nah … she’s just adorable. And I love the glasses! Lunch at: Village Inn.

2. TOBIN BELL, actor (left): He’s the star of the "Saw" franchise. I would need a minimum of a two-hour lunch with Mr. Bell. I have so many questions about this horror franchise. If you have not been hooked, rent the first four before "Saw V" hits the theaters later this month. Lunch at: Butcher Block.

3. DANIEL CRAIG, actor: Arguably the luckiest man on the face of the earth. The newest James Bond’s second movie is coming out in November and I cannot wait. Craig was tremendous in his debut as 007 and I would like to tell him that in person. Lunch at: Ruby Tuesday’s.

4. JIM TRESSEL, football coach: He’s the man behind the current era of the Ohio State dynasty. A man of strong morals and incredible coaching talent, Tressel is the guy every mom and dad should want their son to play for … except maybe those nasty Michigan kids. Lunch at: Steak and Shake.

5. OPRAH, television personailty (right): Someone needs to straighten this woman out. Some of her stuff is now simply too far "out there." She may not speak to me by the end of our lunch, but someone needs to get Ms. TV back on track. Lunch at: Sprout’s (and she would pay).

6. RON WHITE, comedian: By far, the funniest of the Blue Collar comedians, Ron and I would bond immediately. I’m sure of it. I wonder if he likes ABBA music? Lunch at: Kelly’s.

7. DENZEL WASHINGTON, actor: Has the man ever made a bad movie? Lunch at: Arby’s.

8. BRIAN WILLIAMS, NBC News: He’s the only network news anchor who can keep my interest. Lunch at: Kutter’s.

9. PETER GAMMONS, writer: My all-time favorite (baseball) writer. I have such respect for Pete (I would call him "Pete" if we were friends) that I named two fantasy baseball leagues after him — the Gammons American Association and the Gammons National League. Lunch at: My Koog.

10. NICHOLAS SPARKS, author (left): This guy is my wife’s favorite
author. Judging by his books, I’d guess he’s a great person to be
around. So, Nick, if you’re reading this, give me a buzz. We’ll do
lunch. Lunch at: The Pier.

11. HILLARY CLINTON, politician: My first question would have to be, "So, Hillary, how DID you manage to lose that nomination?" Lunch at: Tiramisu.

I don’t mean to sound paranoid, but I feel the Cheese Police are after me.

Recent rants on this blog about the fast-food operations that — no matter what you say or how you phrase your order will always ask, "Do you want cheese on that?" — might be catching up with me.

I went back to the same unnamed fast-food restaurant that has been the subject of the "no cheese" blogs. This time, I received a rather rude greeting and — to be quite honest — unsatisfactory service.

When I pulled up to order and was asked what I wanted, I very politely responded, "I’d like a No. 4 with just tomato. No cheese or anything else. Just tomato. No cheese."

There was a brief pause. (I think they were scanning mug shots or something).

And then this reply came.

"So … I suppose you don’t want any cheese on it?"

Yikes. "That was nasty," I thought.

For one of the few times in my life I was speechless. I was without speech.

Could they know it’s me? How would they know? How could they possibly know?

I sheepishly pulled around to the window where you pay your bill, and the woman at the cash register said the following, "I … uhh… kind of lost your order … do you know how much it was?"

Was this a joke? A test?

Fortunately, I remembered. It was $4.08. She looked disappointed that I knew, probably hoping to catch me in some sort of major sting.

"What is going on here?" I said to myself.

I kept moving forward, to the second window where you pick up your order. You know the drill, the window opens, somebody hands you a paper bag and drink and says, "Have a nice day," or "Thank you," or something to that order.

Right?

Wrong.

All that was said to me when the window opened was, " …. Here." An outstretched hand gave me the bag of food and then slammed the window slammed shut.

Was I imagining all of this? Had I entered the Twilight Zone (the show, not the tavern)?

As I pulled out, I vowed never to return to this place again. It was just too freaky.

The following day I ventured somewhere else for lunch. You know, a fresh start and all of that.

So without a care in the world, I pulled into a brand-new drive-through, was greeted by a new, perky voice, "Can I help you today?"

"Yes," I said. "I’d like a No. 1, just tomato on the sandwich, nothing else. No cheese or anything. Tomato only."

There was a slight pause while she was ringing up the order. Then she asked:

"Would you like cheese on that, hon’?"

Sigh.

Be still my beating heart.

Two of my greatest passions in life, baseball cards and Sarah Palin, will soon be one.

The people who produce Topps baseball cards have announced there will be not one, but two Sarah cards issued in its upcoming update set for the 2008 season.

Palin’s two cards will picture her as she is today and as an Alaskan beauty queen.

A Topps release says "the tiara-wearing governor version" will have a
limited print run and can be found nationwide the second week of
October in packs of 2008 Topps Updates and Highlights.

Earlier this year, Topps issued a 12-card insert in its main 2008 baseball product called “Campaign 2008” featuring Barack Obama, John McCain, Joe Biden and nine other presidential hopefuls. The set garnered national media attention, especially the Obama and Hillary Clinton cards.

Considering the hoopla surrounding Palin, these two cards could go off the charts. And in case you were wondering, yes, I have already ordered mine.