This is what I want, a hamburger with nothing on it, especially cheese. (The lettuce doesn't count)
I give up. I simply give up when it comes to ordering a plain burger … you’ll see why in today’s High 5:
TRY, TRY AGAIN: For months I had sworn off drive-thrus at fast-food restaurants because of the — I don’t know know any other word for it except — stupidity of those taking my orders. You might remember that I had an ongoing feud with one particular national chain because every time I would try and order a plain hamburger I would get the question, “Would you like cheese on that?” I finally just said the heck with it, went to the supermarket, got some meat and buns and made own sandwiches. But the other day was I was hankering for a particular kind of fast-food burger and couldn’t resist, so I made the junket to the drive-thru from Hades. When the voice from the other side of the box asked she could help me, I politely and slowly replied, “I would like a No. 1 combo and I would like the sandwich plain, no cheese, no nothing on it. Just plain. Northing on the sandwich.” After a slight pause, the voice asked me, “Would you like cheese on that?”I just stared at the little box for about 10 seconds and finally said, “Sure … put some cheese on it.” Unbelievably, and I kid you not, she then said, “OK, sir, that’s a plain sandwich with cheese, correct?” By that point, I didn’t have any idea what I had ordered and just said, “Yes.” After I had paid and was on my way home I reached in the bag for the sandwich, opened the wrapper and it most certainly had cheese on it … and everything else, too. I think I am cursed. I wound up throwing the sandwich away and eating the fries. At least they were plain.
Remember when Whitney Houston was ... Whitney Houston?
SONG THAT SHOULD BE A CLASSIC IS NOT: ”Let Me Love You Tonight,” by Pure Prairie League.
WHATEVER HAPPENED TO?: The Pousette Dart Band.
FOUND ON FACEBOOK: “Well so much for things not getting any worse.” (The person who wrote this must have ordered a plain burger, too.)
SAD STORY CONTINUES: At one time, she ruled the music world, but Whitney Houston’s latest comeback attempt turned into another embarrassment. Hundreds in the audience walked out of a Sunday concert in London as the singer once dubbed “The Voice” missed high notes, cut short her songs and apologized for her shortcomings. Houston sang just one or two verses of hits such as Greatest Love of All. She paused during songs to catch her breath and panted heavily in between. In many songs, her backup singers carried the melody, Houston chiming in with lines here and there. The concert “is rubbish. She can’t even complete a song,” said one concert goer. Another in attendance said, “I remember her 20 years ago. She’s not a patch on what she was.” Two decades of battling drug addictions and the rocky relationship with Bobby Brown have ruined one of the greatest artists of not only the 1980s, but arguably of all-time. At her height, who didn’t love Whitney Houston?