OH THOSE CRAZY CANADIANS: The Toronto Star reports Canadians love their cars more than sex — or junk food, coffee and television, a poll says. The survey of Canadians by the World Wildlife Fund found that people would give up a lot of other enjoyable things, including sex, before they would park their cars. “It confirms that Canadians have a deep-seated attachment to our cars,” Josh Laughren, WWF director of communications, was quoted as saying last week. “Cars aren’t just a method of transportation. They’re a place of comfort. For men, in particular, it’s an expression of our personality.” People living in the province of Ontario, those over 50 and women were the most inclined to say they would rather go without sex than without a car, according to the report. (I think baseball and NASCAR should be included with cars.)
FOUND ON FACEBOOK: “FYI – don’t waste your money on MacGruber S T U P I D movie!”
YOUR 15 MINUTES ARE UP: Boston Celtics. (Here come the Lakers, fellas.)
SIGN OF THE APOCALYPSE?: A judge slapped an Arkansas mother with a fine for locking her 17-year-old son out of his Facebook account and ordered the woman to leave the teenager alone. Denise New hijacked her son Lane’s Facebook account when he left it logged in on a home computer, changing his password and posting as Lane New was convicted on a misdemeanor harassment charge, receiving a $435 fine and mandatory parenting and anger-management classes, according to the Associated Press, as well as a 30-day suspended jail sentence to be served only if she violates provisions in her year-long probation. New is also no longer allowed to see her son, who has lived with his grandmother for the past five years. The judge said he’d consider allowing New to see Lane after the classes were complete. (This sounds like one, huge dysfunctional family.)
SONG THAT SHOULD BE A CLASSIC BUT IS NOT: “Hungry Eyes,” by Eric Carmen.