"Cougars," those older women on the prowl for younger men, have seemed to gain more acceptance as a demographic in recent years. I think it was that Demi Moore-Ashton Kutcher marriage that put the growl in the prowl.
I'm here today offering myself as prime cougar bait, but not for just any stray cat. Stevie Love's only interested in celebrity cougars he's had a crush on at one time or another in his life. To make it easier for all of those smitten kittens in waiting who might be left wondering if Stevie Love deemed them worthy, worry no more. Stevie is providing his top 10-plus, broken into specific age groups.
The ground rules are simple, cougars. The first one to call Stevie gets dinner and a movie with the Doctor of Love. What more could a cougar ask? The purrrfect evening.
BABY COUGARS (age 45-49)
1. Lorrie Morgan (49), right: I love a good country song, and none are better at that twang thang than lovely Lorrie. There have been actual occasions when this baby cougar has taken my breath away. Some critics say she's not really that good of a singer, and I say, "Who cares?"
2. Valerie Bertinelli (49), left: The former "One Day at a Time" star looks like she's 49 going on 29. I could never figure out how she wound up with Eddie Van Halen for as long as she did. Some critics would say that TV show she was on was not that good or that she was not much of an actress, and I say, "Who cares?"
3. Nicolette Sheridan (46), right: Call me, Nicolette. While everyone loves you on "Desperate Housewives," I've had a crush on you since the "Knots Landing" days. I lost a little respect for you with that dropping-the-towel incident with Terrell Owens on Monday Night Football, but I'm all about forgiving and forgetting. Call me, Nicolette. Call me.
PRIME TIME COUGARS (50-59)
1. Jane Seymour (58), left: I love a good English accent. I couldn't tell you one movie she's been in, but I'm sure they were all excellent. I remember her best from the "Dr. Quinn, Medicine Woman" television show. I'm thinking Dr. Quinn and Dr. Love would be a natural.
2. Reba McIntire (53), right: She looks better in her short haircut than she used to in those shoulder-length red locks. I was never that infatuated with her during the early days of her singing career, but ever since she got involved with a weekly TV series she has taken on a different light. She reminds of the cougar you'd want to live next door.
3. Michelle Pfeiffer (51), left: This is one classy cougar. Most people think of Al Pacino when the movie "Scarface" is mentioned, but I think of Michelle and her role as Tony Montana's coke-addicted wife. I also loved her in "To Gillian, On Her 37th Birthday," which has never received the acclaim it deserved. If you liked "Ghost," you would love "Gillian." I always thought Michelle Pfeiffer, Meg Ryan and Ellen Barkin would go down in history as three of the greatest actresses who ever lived, but it hasn't worked out that way. Ellen has disappeared off the face of the earth, and neither Michelle or Meg has won the Academy Award I thought was a lock.
1. Goldie Hawn (63), right: She looks younger now than she did in the 1960s as a regular on "Rowan and Martin's Laugh-In." She was a recent covergirl for AARP magazine, and she was downright stunning. Never mind she's an award-winning actor, director and producer and has a beautiful daughter named Kate Hudson, Goldie Hawn is the epitome of what every cougar should strive to be.
2. Sally Field (62), left: Truly, a Field of Dreams. Another actress who makes it hard to believe she's older than Bert Blyleven. I've been a fan of hers since she was the "Flying Nun" on 1960s television. I always felt Sally and Mary Tyler Moore were cut from the same cloth — the girl next door you'd be proud to bring home to mom, even as a cougar.
3. Diane Sawyer (63), right: An underrated cougar. Grrr. It just hit me this year how much I like this woman. I realized every time I am channel surfing and she pops up on one of those newsmagazine shows, I immediately put the remote down and watch. Katie Couric will never be Diane Sawyer in cougardom.
LIFETIME ACHIEVEMENT COUGARS
1. Donna Mills (66), left: Oh, to relive those "Knots Landing" years. There was not a more beautiful woman on network television than Donna Mills in the 1980s. Yeah, the eye makeup was a little heavy and the blush a bit much, but that messy-hair look, vixen nature and sharp tongue made her must-see TV every Thursday night. Her career went right into the toilet after Knots Landing, but that's OK. We'll always have the good times, Donna.
2. Tina Turner (69), right: She probably has the best-looking legs of anyone on this list. How does she do it? Honestly, how does she look like she's 25 years old and is almost old enough to be Bert Blyleven's mom? And she can still sing and dance, too. Heck, she just went out on tour again recently. To be honest, Stevie Love might be a bit overwhelmed by Tina Turner.
Who's your favorite cougars? Pass them along.