My last blog post was about setting a date and starting the planning process. Well, not long after doing those very things, I threw a lot of it out the window and went with my gut. I decided I couldn’t deal with the anxiety of planning a big wedding for more than year and truly didn’t want a big wedding to begin with. I changed from an out-of-town wedding to a nearby location and the date from more than a year away to two months away.

This was all quite crazy but trust me when I say, as the bride you are allowed to change your mind this much. It is more important that you end up with a wedding you feel good about than going with your original ideas. The only thing that I ended up keeping from that original plan was to have a vintage feel for my wedding and to wear the dress that I found in a tiny shop completely by accident, which I will get into more on my next post.

Everyone told me that planning a wedding in two months would be incredibly stressful, but I found that having only wedding plans on my mind for more than a year would’ve been much more stressful. At least, after two months my plans are done. Now, this is very different depending on the bride. My best friend planned for over two years and was fine and had an incredible wedding. This is something you will need to decide for yourself and try to not let everyone else tell you what to choose.

In the end it was very stressful, but it was also the best thing for us to do and we wouldn’t take anything back from our wedding. It was perfect; well our kind of perfect. Remember that no matter what happens on your day, it will be memorable and wonderful, even the ringbearer climbing the stairs in the middle of the ceremony.

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For starters, as a newlywed, I am going to impart a few quick pointers to begin the planning process. It is all very overwhelming and can seem like the wedding day actually getting here is an impossibility, but even the early part of the planning process is important.

1. Work on setting a date early, because it does not matter whether you have a date set or not, you will already be stressing about random details. So you may as well have an end in sight. Now that may sound dreary, and it is not meant to, but the light at the end of that wedding planning tunnel is supposed to be marrying your perfect match, which will be what gets you through all of it. I had the most amazing support group for this and still nearly lost my mind with it all, but at the end of my tunnel, we had the most amazing wedding.

2. Attempt to actually focus on work things at work and not what color the bridesmaids should wear, whether or not the groomsmen should wear tuxedos or if certain family members will be aghast at your choice of ceremony music (We had string quartet versions of our favorite 90s rock songs). Trust me when I say that focusing on anything other than the wedding will be extremely hard. No one thought I’d be that bride with clippings and notes on dresses and hair, but guess what we are all THAT bride once that engagement ring slides on to our hands. So just own it.

3. Remember that no matter how amazing your fiance is, he will not be as excited or worried about the things listed above and wouldn¹t that be kind of odd if he was anyway? Talk to your best friend about them though; she will eat that stuff up, as she should. And don¹t worry about annoying her, because if you haven¹t already been in her wedding, someday you probably will be and she will get you back.

4. Set up an accountonline somewhere, because things like a guest list manager and budget calculator were essential in making me feel like I had things under control even when I probably didn¹t. Also, it made me realize when I was considering a part of the wedding that was truly out of my price range. I am of the school of thought that if it is too expensive, make it or live without it. I used The Knot, http://www.theknot.com/

5. Understand that no matter how long you have to plan or how organized you are, some things will slip through the cracks. I would try and make a list of what the very most important things are to you and start working on them right away so they get done. My most important things, and the only two things that never changed, were my wedding dress and the music we walked to in the ceremony. I am very decisive. But other than those two things, I changed my mind a million times. Be ready to feel like an undecided college freshman again, because every time you think you know what you want, you will change your mind again and again. You know what though? It is your day and you are allowed, just use a pencil in your planner and remember to BREATHE

SPOTLIGHT LINK: Another great site to get wedding planning help is Project Wedding at http://www.projectwedding.com

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I’ve learned through observing engaged women, along with myself, that after the guy gets down on one knee to propose, his part is over for awhile. As for the bride-to-be, it has only just begun.

The instant that ring is on your finger, even while telling friends and family, you start thinking about venues and color schemes. There are so many more options than there used to be and bridal magazines are not the only way to plan.

I had my wedding in the area a week ago, so the planning and stressing out only just ended. Even though everyone will plan their wedding somewhat differently, I hope that by sharing what I went through I can help ease some of your bridal planning worries.

There are so many kinds of weddings these days, as for myself, I am an artsy do-it-yourself kind of girl and designed and executed a lot of the details myself or with help from friends and family. The thing is, even if you use a wedding coordinator or also choose to delegate tasks to friends and family, you will still need to scour the Internet and magazines to find ideas of what you want to do.

I am truly excited to share my thoughts and experiences with you and finally get them out of my head because, let¹s be honest, even after only a few months, your coworkers and family are probably almost sick of hearing about your plans. You can¹t help it though, because it is all you can think about.

So, share them on here and maybe I can help you along the way to your wedding day!

Jessica Martin

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