So I’m sitting here and watching all the snowboarding, skiing and skating and wondering how some of our dirt-track cowboys from Quincy Raceways would fit into some of the Winter Olympics events. I could see the following:
Tony Dunker: Figure skating. The Villain would take to the ice in one of those skin-tight black outfits — with lots of sequins, of course. And if denied a medal, he would likely duke it out with the Russian judge who gave him too low of a score.
Dustin Griffin: The biathlon. This events involves shooting a gun, and we all know how much the Black Car Superstar likes to hunt.
Denny Woodworth: The late model lawyer would not take part as one of the athletes, but rather a judge.
Dave Wietholder and Michael Long: The two-man bobsled. I’m thinking Dave is probably the stronger of the two, so he could be the guy running alongside and pushing and then hopping in at the last moment. Michael can drive.
Jerry Jansen: The luge. A Chevy luge.
Mark Burgtorf: Short-track speed skating. He’d likely be a 14-time champion.
Terry Houston, Abe Huls, Brandon Savage and Dave Moore: Four-man bobsled. If the sled needed to lose some weight midway through the run the other three could toss Dave over the side.
Austen Becerra and Kim Abbott: Pairs figure skating. Austen would come on strong in the second half of the season, errr …, program.
Steven DeLonjay: Half-pipe snowboard. You have to hit your marks, and no one does that better than young Mr. DeLonjay.
Keith Pratt, Kenny Pratt, Jared Schlipman, Terry Schlipman, Chuck Ancell, Tanner Klingele: Hockey. Kenny Pratt could be the goalie, with Terry Schlipman and Keith Pratt serving as enforcers.
Pat Dunker: Ice dancing. He says he has all the moves, plus great hair.